I keep hearing people repeating constantly how life is hard, and complaining about their struggles and problems in life. I completely agree that one should NOT suppress their emotions, but work through them, express and process them. Pretending everything is well and saying affirmations without this process is not going to do the trick. It might help trick the brain into being happy, but to truly shift from the darkness you need to look at the issue, work through it, and YES, you need to let it go. It may take a while, but it is essential if you want to change your situation.
Affirming constantly that life is hard — doesn’t. You are basically staying in the drama loop and affirming your victim identity. If you add blame to the mix, this will make it even worse. It’s not other people’s fault you’re down. I’m sorry to say this, but it’s yours, and taking responsibility for it WILL help you change the situation. If you keep focusing on the problem and what other people have done to you, then all your energy is focused on the negative circumstances in your life. Needless to say, that will bring more problems into your life and more things to complain about. Like attract like, what you focus on becomes your reality.
Let me share a personal story that made a difference in my life. I think it was 2011 when my singing teacher told me I was ego-centric when I was having an anxiety attack and pretty much breaking down in front of the whole class. I had so much sadness, fear, and anxiety in me that I couldn’t sing. The last thing I wanted was to bring attention to my drama, but here I was falling apart and I didn’t see it coming. On top of it, he told me I was ego-centric. It shocked me at first because I didn’t want anyone to know I was feeling this way. On the outside, I was this strong woman who had it all figured out, but on the inside, I was still a shy girl who suffered. I was programmed that “crying is a weakness”, so I had been suppressing my emotions for years, which is the worst thing for a highly sensitive person. But that’s a whole other story… Suddenly everyone saw my vulnerable self and I was so embarrassed. I thought calling me ego-centric was far from the truth to be honest. Then he explained he was referring to “me focusing on my own drama” that is ego-centric. He invited me to open my eyes and my heart and actually look around to see there were people in the world (and in the room literally) who wanted to see who I truly was and wanted me to share my gift.
From this moment on everything changed. I stopped focusing on my drama and blaming other people for my issues. My issues were my own responsibility and I finally started dealing with them. If I felt like crying, I cried. If I was angry, I expressed it. Naturally, in a safe place and safe way (I still am an introvert). Another important thing to realize was that I wasn’t alone. I always felt I had to deal with my shit on my own, cause nobody would understand. Turns out, with the right people you can get through anything. Having a support system is so important! The moment I started processing what I was going through and focusing on what I wanted my life to be, my reality started changing. It took a lot of work on my end, a lot of forgiving and compassion with myself and others, and shifting my mindset into positivity. Positivity truly changed my life.
Today I don’t allow experiences to bring me down. I see blessings in literally every moment — good and bad — and learn from it. Actually the bad experiences I cherish the most, as they turned out to be my greatest lessons and have helped me grow. I choose to learn with ease these days, and release the need to struggle to grow (FYI, it’s just a subconscious program that you can change).
I no longer stay in negativity because it doesn’t serve me. I honor it and lovingly let it go. I believe I am a part of something greater and I am here to learn. I walk through life looking beyond the obvious and understanding that staying in my drama is not going to save me or serve anyone else. It will create a loop I won’t get out of easily. I allowed myself to fall into that trap too many times and I chose never to be there again.
I hope you find the strength within you to get out of the loop, and lovingly release all the negativity that is weighing you down.
What is the experience teaching me?
How can I grow stronger from the situation?
Express gratitude for it ALL and focus on what you want your life to be. You get to choose what happens next.
I’m wishing you good luck and lots of success!
You got this.